About Sleep...

When it comes to an infant's sleeping problems, the pendulum swings between two main schools of thought: Dr Sears' Attachment Parenting and Dr Richard Ferber's Ferber Method. For many parents, knowing which sleep training method to follow can be incredibly difficult. It seems as family, friends, and even strangers all have 'tips' and 'tricks' for curing your little one's noctunal behaviour.

Many parents, you do not know the importance and role that your own sleep plays, until it is gone.

Although sleep experts have different opinions on the 'best' sleep training method, they all agree that sleep is important and when the overall quality of sleep is poor, it can be reflected in you and your child's physical, emotional and mental well-being.

Lack of sleep can be reflected in a variety of ways:

BABIES and TODDLERS

Crying & fussing - prolonged crying spells and long fussy periods, usually the fussy behaviour will get worse throughout the day. Older children are more likely to have temper tantrums.
Rubbing eyes - red-rimmed eyes, dark circles under the eyes.
Staring - turns their head away when you try to engage in play or staring off into space.
Frequently sick - lowered immunity, this also starts a cycle where the illness causes poor sleep and the poor sleep prolongs the ability to fight the illness.
Limited learning - has difficulty acquiring new information and retaining knowledge.
Hyperactivity - appears to be very alert and fighting sleep, even though clearly tired, does not know how to give in to sleep.

PARENTS:

Forgetfulness - can not find your keys, wallet, diaper bag.
Depressed - emotional crying spells, feeling overwhelmed and some times resentful towards your child.
Short tempered - blow up easily, feeling like you are not your best during the day.
Relationship issues - you feel as though there is a wedge between you and your partner and that you do not agree on anything anymore.
Trapped - unable to go out or put your baby down - have not been out with a friend or on a date with your partner for a long time.
Lost Confidence - you feel as if you do not know what to do for the best - confused by all the literature and websites that you have read on parenting and sleep issues. It is hard to be an effective parent if you are exhausted.

SLEEP STAGES

Sleep is broken up into two stages. Non Rapid Eye Movement (Non REM) and REM. Although research has discovered a great deal about what happens in the brain during sleep, to date there are still areas to be investigated and knowledge remains incomplete.

NON REM sleep is broken into four distinct stages:

Stage 1 -Drowsiness - is not a true stage of sleep but an in between state, from being awake to being asleep. During this time, you may see your baby or toddler's eyes look 'blank' and they will open and close before closing and staying closed. As an adult, you feel as though you are sinking into sleep. You may still be aware of things going on around you but you may miss some things - part of a TV show for example.

Stage 2 - Light sleep - the first true stage of sleep, but a stage in which you can be very easily woken up from, (majority of infants are in and out of light sleep from 11:30pm - 5:00am).

Stage 3 & 4 - Deep sleep - these two are similar stages and can be thought of as one. In this stage, the breathing and heart rate will be very steady. Babies often like to sleep with their hands up by their head and there will be no eye movement - 33% of babies will sweat during this stage of sleep. You are not easily woken up from this sleep. Children spend the majority of the first part of the night in deep sleep, (during this time, they often have a brief arousal within the first hour of being asleep).

REM sleep - breathing and heart rate are now irregular and daytime emotional experiences are put into long-term storage. Babies and young children, who have sleep associations, will wake up after a REM episode; and if the conditions from where, or how they fell asleep have changed, a baby/toddler will cry out for help to get back to sleep. REM sleep is often more noticeable during the lighter sleep phase of 11:30pm - 5:00am.

- The purpose of sleep lies in the benefits that it provides all species for survival -

"Mateo is now sleeping through the night and so are we - which is absolutely helping our family unit. He is napping regularly during the day (2 - 3 hours average) instead of 20 minute catnaps he was doing before!!! Before the training, I really thought that we would never have a restful night again and was a little doubtful that the sleep training would work - but here we are well rested and happy!!!! From the bottom of my heart, again I want to thank you for helping us through the most challenging part of raising our son so far - Thanks for bringing back sleep to our family!!!!!!!"

Rina, mother of Matteo

	Do you believe in Crying It Out (CIO)? A: Crying it out means different things to different people. Through our clients, we have summed up that most people link CIO with the extinction method (putting your baby down, leaving the room and not going back). If your baby has a sleep association, it is unrealistic to expect that you can change this without any crying. However, you do not have to leave your baby to cry alone. We have also found that although most parents ask this question very often, it is not the crying that worries. What worries them the most is the sense of abandonment that they fear their child may feel. You do not have to leave your baby alone, but if you are going to make changes then there will likely be crying. The amount of crying will come down to your baby's temperament and the type of association your baby has.
	What method does your program follow? A: We do not have one plan that we use repeatedly: we use a collection of methods based on the sleep diary that you provide. Once we have been through your client information sheet and sleep diary. We will then know what our initial recommendations will be. This is what we would talk about during the consultation. We would not have a client do anything that they are not comfortable doing and your parenting style will always be taken into consideration during this process. We understand that this is a daunting process and your confidence in executing these changes is important to us.
	Is it ever too late for sleep training? A: No, it is never too late. Sleep training is the same as any behaviour modification technique. You can always make changes, but the baby/toddler's age will determine what the best method to use is, and how long the process will take. Even adults can make changes to their sleeping habits if they tried and went about making the changes the right way.
	How long will it take to plan to work? A: When you sleep train, you are working with behaviour. Until you start, you have no idea how you or your baby/toddler will respond to the changes. Although most habits take three weeks to change, some children will complete their sleep training in a shorter period of time and others may take longer. The plan that we give you will be the plan that we discussed during the consultation. Once you start, you will have to check in with us to see if it is working the way we would expect it too. If something does not look right, then we would have you change the plan. I do not guarantee a plan, but I will guarantee that I will work with you to the best of my knowledge so that you reach the goals that you set out to achieve.
	What is the best age to start sleep training. A: Babies usually need to keep night feeds until they weigh close to 14lbs (6.3 kgs). At this weight, they typically have the ability to sleep through the night with one feed. However, babies under 14lbs (6.3 kgs) can still be taught to fall asleep. The baby would need more night feeds. As long as those feeds are during the right time windows, you will be able to make the changes that will work to your advantage long-term.
	I love co-sleeping and would like to continue to do so, I know that my child does not need to feed through the night anymore. Is it possible to make changes and continue to co-sleep? A: Yes, it is not where children sleep, it is how children sleep. You can make changes to your baby's sleeping habits and continue to co-sleep. It would involve making big changes to start with, but we have worked with many clients in this way who have had success.
	Does an earlier bedtime equal a longer sleep, or earlier waking? A: No, there is certainly a misconception about the later you put a baby/child to bed, the later they will sleep in. This is more often not the case. Children usually have a set wake-up time and this time is usually MUCH earlier than a parent would like. When children have late nights they often do not sleep in, but more usually, would wake up even earlier.
	How can we get back on track after teething or illness? A: Teething overall can be an excuse as to why children are up through the night. When babies/toddlers have good sleep habits prior to teething, wake ups due to teething would be minimal compared to a child who had poor sleeping habits. With teething, you also find that some teeth can come in without you even knowing and some are more bothersome. The bottom line is that if through the night your child needs you then you should make them comfortable. Regression usually seeps in when you go back to adding props in an attempt to put your child to sleep during these phases. If you do go off track, then once you are back in a place where all is well, you may have to do some retraining. You should not do this though until you are confident that your child has fully recovered.
	At what age can you have siblings share a room? A: We usually recommend waiting until the younger child has reached the age of six months; the main reason for this is that a sibling, who is in a bed, could get out and put something in the crib that could smother a younger baby by accident. When siblings share a room, it is good to get both children sleeping through the night first. You should also have them on similar wake-up and sleep patterns so that they are not disturbing each other too much. It is also good to run some white noise so that any movement or issues that could crop up, can be masked by the monotonous sound that a white noise machine makes. My two children shared a room even when we had the space for them to have their own. They shared from the age of six months and three years until they were three and a half and six years old. I think it created a great bond between them and, I would often get up to hear them chatting and in one bed together.
	What is the benefit of white noise? A: White noise creates a monotonous sound that will block out other noises and create a nice ambience for your baby/child to fall asleep too. White noise would be beneficial for calming crying babies if you: Travel and are sharing a room. Live in a noisy house. Have dogs barking in your neighbourhood. Live downtown where there are many sirens throughout the night. Have siblings sharing a room.
	My baby has reflux and rolls around when I angle the crib, what would you suggest? A: I would suggest using a Guardian Sleeper to keep your baby positioned safely all night long. This will allow you to angle the crib, keep your baby in one place all night long - up right, safe and pain free.