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Many parents are a little wary of sleep training before they begin. One of my clients sent me her "11 Commandments for Surviving Sleep Training," which I thought may be useful to many people. I've generalized a few of them so you can relate, but you can see that she put in some custom encouragements to help her visualize her own son's progress. You may find that modifying these commandments - printing them out and updating them each few days - will help keep you encouraged during the process.
Your baby does not feel abandoned. He is probably frustrated by the new change of learning to sleep. When I'm frustrated, crying is a really useful release; if I wasn't allowed to cry, I would be frustrated longer. It's a good thing he doesn't know how to bottle up his emotions!
We are on night _______ of a 21 day process.
Look for the bright spots & progress. Is his crying stage shortening? Is he putting himself to sleep? Is he putting himself back to sleep when he wakes up at night? Is he happier in the day?
I really did try everything else first! I read books, I took others' advice and really tried to let him develop his sleep skills on his own. It didn't work.
Think of all the cumulative crying he has done - if I give up, that will all be for nothing. Only a few more nights and he'll be sleeping most of the night!
He is learning how to sleep & making big progress. He is ahead of the curve!
Get as much support as possible - ask for help in cooking & cleaning, have help so you can nap too, get out an exercise, breathe, relax and get a massage!
Laugh & have as many snuggles during the day as possible. Take lots of photos and videos
Eat take out! People only bring you meals for a short time, and this is not a time to stress about meals.
Keep perspective - your baby will be a great sleeper at the end of the process. Talk to other parents who've sleep trained and you'll know their kids are just fine.
Expect it to be a bad night 0 if it turns out to be a good night, it will be a pleasant surprise
Part of my sleep coach service includes talking with parents and answering questions before I even prepare a sleep plan. During the sleep training process, I'm there to answer questions and offer support on a nearly daily basis. Most parents will find that the "idea" of sleep training was much harder then the actual process, in retrospect!
I was recently interviewed by the Langley Times about infant sleep and my upcoming Sleep Seminars, which begin on March 5th. In the interview, I talk about how easy it is for sleep-deprived (and support-deprived) parents to resort to props to get their infants back to sleep - using nursing, rocking, driving, soothers or co-sleeping just to get some shut-eye. Often, parents don't make these as conscious choices, but rather as a means to get some much-needed shut-eye. The result, however, is a long term issue with their child not knowing how to fall asleep unassisted.
"It’s not your job to put your child to sleep. It’s your job to put them to bed," I noted in the article.
Just how to put your child to sleep is what we'll be talking about in my upcoming Sleep Seminars. We'll go over sleep patterns, sleep routines and what to do to help your child to get back to sleep unassisted. It's very typical, for example, for a baby to wake often between 1am and 5am - with sleep training, we teach our babies how to fall back to sleep on their own, just like we do. Based on a conversation with parents and a sleep diary, I create a personalized sleep plan for each family that helps parents get their babies sleeping through the night within 3 to 4 weeks. Younger babies may still need to eat during the night, and my plans will accomodate this.
"A lot of moms are weepy and feel overwhelmed. All of them are too tired to read books about sleep. Postpartum can be tied to lack of sleep and a couple’s relationship can be strained. Even a mom’s energy for her baby is zapped and she can easily get angry."
Sleep is an important topic too often overlooked when it comes to educating new parents. To learn more about infant sleep, register for one of my upcoming Sleep Seminars.
P.S. - check out the photo of Hendrix and I in the article. I can't believe how fast this year has gone by!
I recently received a testimonial from a lovely family whose life has been transformed for the better by a good night's sleep. Hearing that a child is more happy is one of the most common - and rewarding - things I hear after sleep training. It's so great that child and parents are now more rested and more happy! Here is what Oksana had to say about sleep training her daughter, Veronika:
"After almost a whole year of being without sleep at night and proper rest in the day time I felt physically worn out. I can’t thank Dawnn enough, she created a new daily routine and sleeping program for our baby and changed this situation completely. Our beautiful daughter now sleeps through the night and she became a much happier child.
Thank you so much Dawnn! We will highly recommend you to any parents who need a sleeping consultant."
Learn more about how I can help you - with sleep, potty training or more - from my services page.
I just got an update from Marie about life after sleep training her youngest boy, Julien. Julien is the third child in the family, but the first to love being in bed thanks to his early sleep coaching. Many children who learn sleep skills early are ones who find their beds a welcome experience as they grow up. Here's what Marie had to say:
"I really want to thank you for your help with Julien's sleep training! Julien is 6 months now and he is a very good sleeper....a lot because of the sleep training. He sleeps until 6:30-7:00 every morning and takes very good naps. I am so happy to have been able, because of your advice, to extend his naps. He still often wake up after 40 minutes but falls back asleep within 5 minutes. Unlike my 2 other sons, he likes to be in his bed awake... maintly, because I teach him to fall asleep by himself without any props. Often, I don't realized in the morning that he is awake... I just see him on the baby monitor looking around!!! I also know when I put him in his bed around 12h00 that I have a good 2h00... which is fantastic!!!!
Your advice was so precious. You also gave me confidence that I was doing the right thing... and this was very important for me. I have now a confortable routine with Julien but I am also very flexible with this routine. He was sick at the beginning of October and I had to give him milk during the night (he was so congested...) but as soon as he got better... I did some sleep training and he was again sleeping through the night within 2 nights!!!! I am a happy, rested and confident mother... a big thanks to you!!!!"
This is what I hear the most often from my clients, and what makes me so happy as a sleep consultant and parenting coach: the ability to give parents confidence.
For many parents, knowing which sleep training method to follow can be incredibly difficult. There are an endless number of books and an endless number of family and friends who will swear by one method or another... but which is right for you? I'm here to help you decide what method of sleep training is right for your baby and your family. Here is a video explaining some of my most frequently asked questions, including question on my methods, on when to sleep train and more.
If you have more questions after this video, or our written FAQ, please contact me and I'll be happy to answer any questions you may have before deciding to use my services.
Many parents are a little wary of sleep training before they begin. One of my clients sent me her "11 Commandments for Surviving Sleep Training," which I thought may be useful to many people. I've generalized a few of them so you can relate, but you can see that she put in some custom encouragements to help her visualize her own son's progress. You may find that modifying these commandments - printing them out and updating them each few days - will help keep you encouraged during the process.
