I recently created a Facebook Ad, that had the title - At your wits end?
With a few back up questions - Do you and your baby need more sleep? Do you feel drained and emotional? Tired, fussy baby ? If so, I can help.
Usually, these are the emotions and feelings of a new parent in the adapting phase, or even a second or third time parent.
The most common statement that clients state are; I'm at my wits end, I am so tired, I feel drained, I keep crying, I don't know what I am doing, I feel lost, I feel lonely, I feel isolated.
I ran this ad for a few days and within the first few hours, it accumulate one comment, which read: "ugh, all this is 'NORMAL', how about you support parents instead of tying to sell them a gimmick"
This got me thinking about the irony in this comment and the use of the word 'NORMAL' and how easily and loosely it got thrown around.
What does 'NORMAL' really mean ?? I remember being asked this question in my psychology class by my professor at university many years ago. A few blank stares between pupils, because you think the answer is easy.
The answer however, is still one of much debate, because there are so many variables at play, as what may be feelings of 'NORMAL' in any one person.
I do understand where the lady who commented was coming from and did not take offence to it, but in her simple statement of where she thought she was being helpful was actually (or I so believe) the opposite. It's "NORMAL" are the exact words a lot of new Mums accept, put their heads down and then try to carry on, when there really is more going on and they need to talk to someone.
It made me realize how hard it must be for a Mum, who in their own mind know's that how they are feeling is actually not 'NORMAL' for them, and falls outside of the regular baby blues.
So how so many Mums go on to suffer then in silence? for the fear of being told that its "NORMAL", or, it will go away on its own, It will get better next month, it will get better at 6 months, it will be better at a year, or you'll be fine, here... sit down and have a cup of tea.
I'm interested to know if you ever felt like this and felt that no one listened.
I really do think we need to listen a little harder and dig a little deeper, when a new Mum is telling you how she feels, it certainly should not just be blown off and told its 'NORMAL'.
Over the years I have had the privilege of working with many families, some of those with post-partum depression, anxiety and psychosis, and although these issues do need more than a good nights sleep to remedy, a good nights sleep is a good start to get you on the path to your "NORMAL'.