Keeping the love alive when you have kiddos

 

If I had a dollar for every time a client told me that one of their goals was to feel closer to their husband again, I would be a rich lady!

 

When you find out you are pregnant, visions may come to mind of you and your partner happily pushing a fancy stroller, sipping on a latte, chatting and smiling in your own euphoria. This may be the case for some, but from my experience working with clients, it's more idealistic than realistic. 

 

Fast forward a few months, the baby is here and along with it, are a few arguments (usually over night) about the best way to deal with a crying baby, and whose turn it is to get up.

 

Many solutions are forged, a common one being that one parent (usually the one who is going to work) will sleep in a separate space and the parent who is on leave, will deal with the baby over night.

 

For some parents, this might work out well - but for others it can create a feeling of loneliness and a disconnection from the marriage / relationship.

 

Just because you have a baby or children does not mean that you should or can not put your marriage or partner first. 

 

I have had conversations with many parents who have not been on a date night or out together since they had children, and their eldest was 4. 

 

Remember your job as parents is to prepare your child/children for life, at some point they leave the nest and go off on their own, so keeping the love alive, will assist all of you in this transition at a later time. 

 

It's never too late, to create a date night - you don't even have to leave the house it can be something as simple as making a nice dinner and having a bottle of wine, watching a movie once everyone else is in bed, but just taking some time out to talk about yourselves and spending time together without anyone else around, will make you better parents and keep you on track with your own marital goals.

 

If you do have some extra funds, certainly asking a baby-sitter to come either once a week or every other week so that you can go out and just enjoy each others company out of the house is great, but its not always affordable. 

 

However, whether it is or not, make time for your partner and your own relationships without feeling guilty about it!

 

 

 

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